


Too close for comfort

by cian1675



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: (sexualities implied not stated), Bisexual Character, Gen, Meta, Pansexual Character, Woohyun-centric, breaking out the & tag aka the platonic/friendship tag, idols contemplating fanservice and shipping, idolverse, sort of, when lines blur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 10:18:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cian1675/pseuds/cian1675
Summary: He used to be somewhat close to Sunggyu – leader, colleague, roommate, and whatever else he was. Nowadays, it’s like there’s a gulf between them, Woohyun barely managing to tolerate Sunggyu patting his shoulder, and when Sunggyu hugs him, Woohyun has to grit his teeth to keep his smile and avoid flinching.(Smile. For the fans.)





	Too close for comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Entirely fictional. Just a reminder, especially in the context of this fic.

Fanservice. It wasn’t a thing Woohyun thought about much before, when he was a trainee. Back then he just wanted to debut, to sing. His mind was filled with vocal training, dance lessons, rinse and repeat until he could do them with eyes closed, exhausted beyond belief. It wasn’t like he never thought of it ever – he knew, on some level, that if, or _when_ , he debuted, that it’ll be a thing he’ll have to do – but it just wasn’t something that was particularly important at that time. Now though...

Now it occupies his mind constantly, buzzing behind the lower drone of melodies and dance routines and remembering to smile and be funny and entertaining at interviews.

 

 

Interviews. Someone’s asking something. He hadn’t been paying attention. From the looks of it, it’s directed at him, and Woohyun blinks, looking around hoping for some clue as to what he’d missed. Hoya has his eyebrows raised, not useful at all, and Dongwoo’s even more distracted than Woohyun himself is, so that’s out. He’s trying to read Sungyeol’s lips (though he strongly suspects Sungyeol’s just telling him something useless to mess with him) when Sunggyu clears his thoat.

“I know I’m good-looking, but pay some attention to the questions, won’t you?”

It’s said with a too-wide smile, fake and plasticky, Sunggyu’s eyes staring holes into him like he’s hinting (coaxing, coercing) Woohyun play along. He swallows the awful feeling welling up in his throat, and plasters on a smile, lightly hitting Sunggyu’s shoulder.

(Fanservice.)

“How do you know I’m not just staring at myself in the monitoring screen?”

Woohyun’s not even sure what rubbish he had just sprouted, but Sunggyu, leader Sunggyu, head-screwed-on-right Sunggyu just makes a face, which could mean anything. And then –

“Well, you do look pretty good today, so…”

A shrug.

Woohyun’s not sure what that’s supposed to mean, so he looks away. Puts on his best face, shoots a warm grin at the interviewer and asks to repeat the question because he was distracted imagining how great it’ll be to meet all his girlfriends (read: fans) later.

No one really believes him (not even himself) but the interviewer does repeat the question, and they safely make it to the next one, which, thankfully, isn’t for Woohyun. Still, Sunggyu looks at him oddly through the rest of the interview. Woohyun pretends he doesn’t notice.

(Doesn’t notice more than he’s told to, anyway.)

 

 

Casual touches. Those used to be normal. Hugs too. Sometimes they were annoying, having to be embraced by a sweaty member when Woohyun himself was already hot and sticky under the strong stage lights. But most days they were acceptable, a part of his work routine, letting Dongwoo cop a feel of his butt as they move from venue to venue, letting Myungsoo hook an arm around his shoulder, all to the background soundtrack of wide-eyed squealing fangirls. He got used to the member’s touches, had to, partly due to necessity from back when they had to live together in small dorms and smaller rooms, and partly from being coaxed to play things up for the fangirls.

(Fanservice.)

He’s okay with those small touches on most days. Even the somewhat intrusive fingers of Dongwoo creeping too close to sensitive parts when he gropes his butt. Most of the time it’s in good fun; Dongwoo’s straight as a rod, and he doesn’t really mean anything by it. Myungsoo’s just a bit of a clinger, and that’s alright since Woohyun’s not usually the tree (har _har_ ) to Myungsoo’s koala-arms, and anyway, Myungsoo’s not interested.

(Not the way some of them could be.)

Sungjong’s not too touchy in general, which is safe, comforting on top of the fact that he’s also staunchly straight, but he’s not often assigned to be next to Woohyun –

(“People don’t ship Woojong, it’s just not that popular.”)

And Sungyeol’s alright (even if not as straight as he’ll like to be) but there are days when he suddenly gets touchy for no reason and Woohyun’s not always prepared.

Hoya he doesn’t actively touch, nor the other him, which is good.  He had asked Howon why once, a long time ago, and the only reason he got was “It’s weird for you to touch girls with no context right? It’s the same for me with anyone, since I’m… you know.”

(“ _You know_ ” being, potentially attracted to possibly anyone, Woohyun thinks, though Howon’s never really confirmed or rejected that whenever Woohyun gets drunk enough to contemplate asking. He never _ever_ gets drunk enough to even consider telling Howon just how well _he_ knows that feeling either.)

So yeah, casual touches. Woohyun’s mostly fine with them because even if he wasn’t an idol, he would have friends, some of whom would be guys and some of whom would casually touch him without thinking anything of it anyway. It’s not like they would think it weird to touch him casually the way they would never to a girl, no issues with propriety and all. But casual touches for fanservice, those are a different beast altogether. All of a sudden, Woohyun’s supposed to _initiate_ it. Lightly stroking a guy’s bicep. Backhugging a dude. Playing with each other’s hands during interviews. Things he’s always been careful to avoid doing, lest he gives people the wrong idea – wrong not because he thinks homosexuality is taboo even with Korea’s conservative standards, but wrong because he’s not attracted to these six guys _that way_ and shouldn’t lead them on.

(Except, what if, just _what if,_ that’s not true?)

 

 

The air-conditioning in the hotel is simultaneously too cold and too hot. Woohyun doesn’t know what to do with his blanket, whether to leave it on or off, whether to cover just the bits of him that feels cold (which is everywhere, until the blanket is on, and everything’s too hot), or give up on the whole endeavor altogether. On the other side of the room, on a different bed, Sunggyu shifts, sheets rustling as he settles, and Woohyun holds his breath. It’s only after he hears Sunggyu’s soft snores does he relax a little, bare feet peeking out under the blanket.

(Too hot, too cold. Too close, too far.)

He hasn’t had to share a room with another member in a while since they started doing well enough as a group, and it’s been even longer since he had to share one with Sunggyu. He used to a lot when they just started promoting, everyone lumping them together because they had been roommates and anyway “the fans love Woogyu, you know”.

(Trust him, he knows. He spends too much time on the web.)

These days, Woohyun tries to avoid standing or sitting near Sunggyu lest he’s expected to perform.

(Fanservice.)

Except of course, the fangirls love Woogyu (or Gyuwoo, whatever the difference is) and there’s only so much Woohyun can avoid before things get weird.

(Weirder.)

That night, Woohyun tosses and turns for a long time, pushing the blanket off then pulling it back up, repeated _ad infinitum_. He doesn’t sleep well.

 

 

Bright lights on neatly made up faces. Another interview. Woohyun didn’t manage to avoid the spot next to Sunggyu this time, and he tries not to think about it. He didn’t used to care anyway. He used to be somewhat close to Sunggyu – leader, colleague, roommate, and whatever else he was. Nowadays, it’s like there’s a gulf between them, Woohyun barely managing to tolerate Sunggyu patting his shoulder –

(It’s just for a job well done, and he pats the rest of the members too –)

And when halfway through the interview, Sunggyu starts turning to him, shaking him, arms wrapped his shoulders, Woohyun has to grit his teeth to keep his smile and avoid flinching. Sunggyu’s hands withdraw a moment later (a moment too slow) and Woohyun has to pretend he doesn’t want to claw the feeling off his skin.

He smiles, because the camera’s red blinking light is still on, but Woohyun’s not entirely surprised to find later, when checking the interview clips, that his smile looks vaguely pained, his body angled away from Sunggyu the moment his leader’s hands are off, a clear sign that he’s uncomfortable. Except, all he sees in the comment section is, “Aww, look, a rare Woogyu moment! It’s been so long.”

He feels…

(He’s not sure what he feels.)

 

 

The problem isn’t with Sunggyu. Woohyun knows that. He’s not entirely sure it’s with him, but he supposes it must be, on some level, because he’s already ruled Sunggyu out. Still, Woohyun never used to have this issue.

(Never had problems with fanservice before.)

“Maybe you like Sunggyu,” Sungyeol says, not serious at all, except he is, sort of.

 _(“Woohyun,” Sungyeol had said that night after the Troublemaker performance in a panicked voice, “Am I supposed to feel_ disgusted _about kissing Sungjong on stage?”_ )

“I don’t like Sunggyu,” Woohyun says, rolling his eyes as he scrolls through articles on Naver. He doesn’t, really. At least, not in the way Sungyeol’s (not subtly) implying.

 _(“…Does Sungjong feel…disgusted about kissing you on stage?” Woohyun wouldn’t be surprised, given how hetero Sungjong is, but he’s sort of surprised that Sungyeol noticed when Sungjong’s adept at hiding his thoughts on fanservice behind professionalism. “It’s just a performance, Yeol. Don’t think too much about it,” Woohyun had said then, advice doused in false confidence he didn’t quite have._ )

Sungyeol doesn’t reply, just shrugs, like he doesn’t care, except he totally does, because a short moment later, he says, voice too quiet and serious, “Sunggyu hyung is straight, you know?”

Woohyun doesn’t look up from his screen. He knows. “That’s not…” _not the point, not the issue, not the problem_ , he could choose any of those phrases but he just takes a deep breath and says, “Yes, I know.”

 

 

He had this discussion with Howon once. They both still pretend that it had never happened.

( _“Don’t you feel weird being touchy with Dongwoo?”_

_“Dongwoo’s straight, Woohyun.”_

_“So? He’s the touchiest of everyone. And...”_ I know you’re not straight _, Woohyun almost says, but Howon understands before he needs to state it out loud._

_“It’s easier, actually,” Howon says after a while. “It’s easier to let Dongwoo touch me and for me to reciprocate because I know he’s straight. There’s no need to think anything of it, to assume anything.”)_

Sunggyu’s straight. There’s nothing to assume.

(It’s just fanservice. Just work.)

 

 

Sunggyu. Woohyun doesn’t like Sunggyu. Not romantically anyway, he’s pretty sure, and it’s not even because Sunggyu’s straight and it’s dumb to fall for straight dudes.

(Although, it’s not like Woohyun’s never done that before even when he knew how futile that was.)

It’s just… he doesn’t think of Sunggyu that way. Sunggyu’s an okay friend – more than okay actually, when he’s not being overbearing – but Woohyun’s just friends with him. Colleagues. Whatever. The thing is, though, it’s not like it’s completely _impossible_ for him to fall for Sunggyu –

 _(“But I can’t possibly like Sungjong that way, right? I’m straight, Woohyunie, I’m straight –”_ )

And that’s kind of the problem, isn’t it? The possibility is there; it eats Woohyun up wondering if he’s just _saying_ he doesn’t like Sunggyu romantically, and if Sungyeol could be right.

( _“Yeol, chill, it’s just a kiss. You’ve had one night stands that you liked kissing without actually liking them romantically, right?”_ )

It eats Woohyun up inside, wondering. Trying to regulate his reactions so he doesn’t appear hot one moment and then suddenly cold the next because of how his mood swings and where his thoughts lie that day. Coming to terms with the fact that he’s okay with Sunggyu overall (as a friend, a colleague, a _person_ ) until he’s suddenly not (too many fans, too many eyes watching, too many cheers and squeals of “Sunggyu” before Woohyun even opens his mouth to speak at ending _ments_.)

_(And underneath it all, the muffled whispers of “Woogyu”, fans glancing between Woohyun and Sunggyu with conspiratorial smiles the moment Woohyun even steps anywhere in the vicinity of Sunggyu.)_

 

 

“Have you considered,” Sungjong says, when Woohyun’s halfway to drunk and loose-tongued enough to spill his secrets to the only person free of schedules and willing to listen, “that this is like that thing in middle school, when people start matchmaking a girl and guy because one of them supposedly has a crush on the other, and how that never ends well?”

Woohyun takes a swig of soju straight from the bottle, too lazy to pour it into a glass. “I don’t have a crush on him,” he says, words not slurred yet though it would be soon if he keeps drinking at this rate. He hopes Sungjong doesn’t think this is a case of the lady protesting too much.

(There’s no lady in this story anyway.)

Sungjong takes the bottle away from him, pouring it into his own glass like he wants to drink but Woohyun suspects it’s just to stop him from finishing the whole thing by himself.

“It never actually matters if any of them has a crush once the matchmaking starts, does it?”

Sungjong’s voice is even. _Reasonable_. Woohyun looks at him, processing the words, and Sungjong rolls his eyes, like he would be exasperated having this conversation with Woohyun when Woohyun’s sober, let alone when Woohyun’s had two bottles of soju in him.

“What I mean is, even if the girl and guy had fond feelings – feelings which could grow romantically or potentially become friendship even if it doesn’t turn out romantically – the excessive expectations and pressure from people pushing them together will eventually drive them apart, wouldn’t it?”

 

(Wouldn’t it?)

**Author's Note:**

> Written off half-formed thoughts and discussions with friends on idolhood/real life, fanservice, shipping, and was sort of prodded to turn this from things in my head to actual words after seeing [this video](https://twitter.com/whso486/status/876041932547346437). Lots of thanks to Chelsie for prodding me to start and being there during writing and testreading. :)


End file.
